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It is not in the stars to hold our destiny

the one with the gash in his palm

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the one with the gash in his palm

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After having blitz'd my room and closet, and now car.....I have managed to throw away, donate, etc......over 5 trash bags worth...and the number is still growing.

And yet, I still own a ridiculous amount of stuff. I don't understand it.

Something else I can't seem to comprehend....I keep getting sick. I've never been this prone to illness before. And I'm not normally worried or paranoid about recurring sickness...but now I am.  Although, being sick has allowed my sleep schedule to finally resume a somewhat "normal" existence.

I love cleaning and rearranging my room, it feels like I get a fresh start. I find and rediscover things that have been hidden and buried beneath the clutter and filth.....haha. And my floor! I can actually see my floor! HA! who knew! I almost fogot I had carpeted floors! yeesh....

I'm a total nerd, but organizing my books was my favorite part. And I realized, my Shakespeare collection....is ridiculous. I grew up with all these books around me, all these theatre books and plays that my mom and dad had collected over their years.....

now, having inherited them essentially, I never understood how someone could collect that many books. But sure enough, I have my very own stash....haha.

But, with reorganizing, comes responsibility. I realized how many bills I still have to pay off....having now filed them all into folders  and made notes for myself.....It sucks.

I just want to pay everything off right now and be free and clear. AGH!

Quick side note: I've already started collecting and drafting costumes for YTE. That's been a bizarre return. I was apprehensive at first, but now that I'm knee deep in research, I remember how much fun it is.

Oh yeah, a few other things I've realized in cleaning out my life( basically):

I own a lot of pink clothing. I mean....A LOT.

I have a ridiculous amount of empty cd cases.

I trust SNAPE. (Found the sticker I received after reserving the 7th HP book)

I own a lot of that "stitch witchery" tape....I don't know why....

Few of my favorite movies are dramatic. ( There might be a deeper, psychological reason for this, but I have yet to explore it.)

I still have all these Marx Bros movies that I haven't returned. (I rented them for the 12th Night production I was in last year)

OH YEAH! That reminds me...I saw 12th Night at IU.

Beautifully directed show.....I must say. The acting....was split for me. There were some folks that did an amazing job, and others that I felt were completely miscast.

12th night is not an easy show. It seems like it could be, given that it's a comedy....but it's s ubtle comedy. That's not to say that the comedy itself is LITERALLY subtle.....not at all...in fact, some of the bits are so low brow and slapstick, you'd have to be in a coma not to find the funny.

however, 12th night is one of Shakespeare's more....cerebral comedies, if that's fair to say. It's intellectual, almost snobbish about some of it's humor.

I think a fair equivalent would be....Monty Python, for instance. That's the vein of humor it rides.

12th night is not necessarily an easy show to immediately understand, nor is the theme or central idea. And certain characters, say Feste, for instance, are difficult to catergorize.

Now, as sometimes happens in this show, the subplot of Malvolio being duped by Maria, Toby, Andrew, Fabian and Feste...was awesome. Best part of the show for me...

I think it's also fair to say....that how a director stages the curtain call says a lot. The entire cast was present for one singular bow.

When you have a show where your leads have not led the show perhaps as strongly as they should have, and your supporting cast has taken the reigns.....or perhaps that everyone turned in a superior performance.......you should have a fullcast bow.

However, in this particular production, certain actors deserved their own bow. They worked for it. It was a shame that I, as an audience member, wasn't able to show my appreciation for individual actors in particular.

More and more, and I am so grateful for this, I am cultivating what it is that makes a good actor. This is all my opinion of course, but it's an opinion that drives my own work ethic and credo. I can only hope I display that when I perform.

You are there to tell a story. The play is for the audience. If you break it down, all you need is an actor and an audience.

You don't need costumes, or lights, or a stage even! You could even go without a script sometimes!  Just, tell the story.

That's why I've never embraced certain method acting practices. They become too self indulgent and keep the actor preoccupied with themselves rather than with the story.

It suddenly becomes all about what the actor was feeling and why or how they did certain things to achieve a particular state of being onstage. Not, how the character was reacting or if their actions were appropriate to the story.

It's not an easy concept to write about or discuss, to be sure....and everyone has their own path, and sure, some method actors still draw out good performances....albeit, somewhat self indulgent ones....

Now, this is not to say that a certain degree of believability is frowned upon. No, no, no. I totally dig actors that want a degree of authenticity. And if that means understanding and experiencing the things that the character has, go for it. Just...don't do it onstage. Save that octave of realism for research.

For example; if you have to play a drunken character onstage.......by all means, experience the sensation of being drunk on your own time. Don't get drunk before you go onstage. Why? Why would you do that? Because the character is drunk? So you can more fully experience your character? Fuck that. That is selfish, self involved acting. For obvious reasons, you've now impaired yourself completely to perform.

Another example.....is injuring yourself in some way. I've seen actors rehearsing for a scene where they had like, a gash in the palm of their hand. Well, you know what an actor friend of mine did? He actually cut himself! Yeah, carved a nice chunk into his palm during the scene so he'd be able to react accordingly.

Brilliant? NO! STUPID! Great...so he's really crying.....cause he's really bleeding.....and now he has several options; continue bleeding onstage, uncontrollable and realistic crying, a numbing sensation that allows him to  constantly clench his fist,  shortness of breath,  and so on.

Wow.  Yeah, that affectively helped tell the story.  Now you have an actor who is SO FAR OUT of the scene, because he's no longer thinking about the story or the character...no. He's thinking about the pain  in his hand....or the  ridiculous idea of how cool it looks that he actually  cut himself for real (god forbid).

Yeah, granted...two extreme examples. But they happen. And no good can come from that amount of realism. Theatre isn't real. Theatre is hyper real.

Even realism plays....they shouldn't exhibit life as it REALLY is....that'd be boring. That wouldn't tell a provocative story. In life, there is no clear cut conflict. In theatre, there is. Even in realism plays...there is still a set conflict...making the realism, heightened.

Yeesh...I'm done ranting for now. More later. peace.
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